Would it hurt you to say, “Excuse me”?

I know, pandemic. But why does that mean you’ve stopped saying, “Excuse me,” when you accidentally get in someone’s way at the store? One would think that there would be more of a “We’re all in this together” vibe out in public, but instead, rudeness has increased an estimated 120%. I have a theory as to why, and it’s not the stress associated with life under a pandemic.

As you may have noticed, there’s a huge difference between how people treat each other in automobile traffic and how they treat each other in person. In person, if someone walks in front of you, you generally don’t scream, “Asshole!!!” at them, give them the finger and follow close behind them until you get a chance to walk in front of them. But you do that in your car. In person, you hold a door open for a stranger. In your car, you may let someone drive through an intersection before you, but you do it with an exaggerated and dismissive gesture so they know you are truly the master of that intersection and are allowing them to proceed due to your magnanimousity.

I believe that wearing a mask adds a layer of pretend anonymity that puts us somewhere in-between normal in-person interactions and driving in a car. Yes, you are out there in your body sharing a public space, but you are masked up like the Lone Ranger, feeling that you’re not completely there in person. So, while you don’t have the protection of a metal cage, you do have a slight feeling that maybe all of this is a virtual reality game and it’s just your avatar out there. Avatars don’t have to be polite — nobody will know your true identity.

But you are making the world just a little more shitty for everybody. So please, be fully human again in public. Say, “No problem,” when someone like me says, “Oops, sorry.” Smile with your eyes and nod as you walk by. And try saying, “Excuse me” now and then.