Words Made into a Poem and into New Words
Before I can commit, I’ve gotta know:
Are you one of those people who die?
You know the type -
They’re alive, doing things and then one day something happens
And they die.
Because if you’re going to just die
What’s the point in doing anything with you?
I mean, I won’t be able to reminisce about the good ol’ days with you
Because you’ll be gone.
Won’t be able to do a follow-up project
Or put on a retrospective together
Won’t be able to see any more films together
Complain about politics
So, if you’re going to die, just tell me up front.
And when I say “die,” I also include change.
If you’re interests are going to change -
I don’t want to invest in one person
And then have that person replaced with a new version that I never bought into.
So just sign this form
You agree not to change your mind
Now we can be friends
And now … New words and old words rearranged to say new things!
- Universities! Save time and space by shortening “in-state tuition” to just intuition.
- The word “Grammy” is obviously derived from grammar, so I think they should at least use correct spelling: the Grammys should be called the Grammies.
- Have you ever noticed that whenever they hold supervillains in special glass-walled cells on tv an in movies, they never give them a bathroom?
- A vintage bicycle is a classycle.
- A chewy cucumber is a chewcumber.
- Why do we call it “air conditioning” when we turn on the cold? “Air conditioning” sounds neutral — it should cover turning on the heat and turning on the cold. Somebody fix this language problem so I can buy a window cooler.
- Pants would be nice, but I’m a little short on cash — can I just buy one pant?
- My hairdo is so bad I call it a hardon’t.
- My dream job would be Chef Justice of the Supreme Torte.
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