Why IBM Can Never Be Taken Seriously

Photo by Mikita Yo on Unsplash

What’s up with corporate names? Are they taunting us with their inappropriateness? If you don’t believe there’s a conspiracy to humiliate themselves or to test our ability to notice bizarre word choices, please consider the following:

• IBM — Oh really? You BM? Do I have to know how proud you are about your Bowel Movements?
• Seimans — Was this name designed to cause middle schoolers to laugh? Anyway, the plural of semen is just semen.
• Northwest Airlines went out of business, and it’s no wonder. After all, they chose to use the abbreviation NWA. They even used the domain name nwa.com. Were they completely unaware of the band N.W.A.?
• The Body Shop also went out of business, probably because their slogan was, “Natural Beauty Products Inspired By Nature….” Plus, I would expect to buy bodies at a body shop. I think a place called the Body Shop should have had as its slogan, “Dead Bodies Inspired by Death.”
• United Record Pressing — Remember records? They were the really big CDs made from vinyl. Remember CDs? They were little pieces of Spotify pressed into small frizbees. This company, United Record Pressing, still makes vinyl records. They must have great respect for their product. But they don’t appear to have much respect for their customers. They go by their abbreviation, URP. I mean…