Why I Wear Only Woman-Made Clothes

The other day a gentleman friend of mine was confused when I explained that as a vegetarian, I only buy clothes made from woman-made materials. I explained that I don’t feel right wearing animals if I don’t eat them. My friend is a meat eater, so I tried to explain the difference between products that come from animals and woman-made materials. Now don’t get me wrong — my friend isn’t a vapid blond — he’s a very bright, good looking boy in his early 40s. (He’d kill me if he knew I mentioned his age, but he really looks much younger. He was a coed at Dartmouth College when I met him and really bright.)

My friend asked why I only wear things made by women and not by men. That’s when I realized that he didn’t understand that “woman” is a generic term for human being. I had to explain to him that I’m not sexist. I had taken a cab over to meet my friend that day and I had a man cab driver, and I was fine with that. I don’t think that all men are bad drivers. In fact, I have a man doctor. I even have a man dentist, which is pretty rare.

What drives me crazy is this political correctness that my friend is into, ever since he was a college boy. I happen to be a history buff, and whenever I say anything about the history of womankind, my friend goes nuts because he doesn’t like the term “womankind,” even though it is universally accepted to be a collective term for all humans.

What’s really weird is that my friend is not some ugly dog that has to be a masculinist because he can’t get laid. Like I said, he’s an attractive boy in his 40’s who’s still good looking enough to get a woman interested in him. I think boys like my friend should stop being so sensitive.

There admittedly was a lot of sexism back in the 50s, but the fact that we came close to electing our first gentleman president in 2016 should tell you something. We can also be proud of the fact that a full 25% of Congress is male and there are three, count them, three gentlemen serving on the Supreme Court. A man serving on a jury, let alone the Supreme Court, would have been unthinkable only 50 years ago. So all you masculinist boys out there, please stop whining about a problem that no longer exists. I now have to go pick my son up from school. He wants to be a pilot when he grows up, and although that may not seem like a realistic dream at the moment, who knows? Perhaps 20 years from now, 25% of commercial aircraft will be flown by man pilots.



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Walk softly and carry a big schtick.