Useful Things That Don’t Yet Exist
2 min readOct 5, 2020
- Charcoal Activated Fart Filtering Underwear
- De-AutoTuner: A filter you can apply to songs that will give you the original voice of the alleged singer before it was mechanically altered
- Virtual Reality Brain Stimulator that provides a 3-D touch & taste sensation of eating a deep, dark chocolate crunchy 17-layer popcorn hazelnut whipped cream mousse pie
- Velcro Clothes — one set of clothes in hooks (the rough half of Velcro), the other loops (the soft half of Velcro). Fun for play pals, couples or wrestling partners.
- A Dark Chocolate puffed rice crunchy bar. I don’t know why it doesn’t exist — it’s always milk chocolate.
- Facebook Busy Signal: You could turn it on when you are actually trying to get things done on your computer and don’t want someone you hardly know to pop up in a chat window and monopolize your attention for 40 minutes by talking about their hamster.
- Arrow keys for the virtual keyboard on the iPad
- Universal Desktop for Treadmills: A desktop, hard on the top, with heavy bean bag stuffing on the bottom to conform to the handles on treadmills, or perhaps made with adjustable clamps to hold on to the treadmill handlebars. This would be a cheap way to turn any treadmill into a walking treadmill desk.
- iMagnet: A refrigerator magnet that can record short mpeg movies & play back by touching the surface. You could record a reminder to your teenage son to get ready for his sax lesson after school, or a shopping list, or a warning to yourself not to eat any of the carrot cake in the fridge, or a simple love message to your partner to click & play before going off to work.
- Deaf Jams: Super heavy bass beats — music designed to be heard and/or felt by the deaf and heard of hearing
- Swim Jams: Music designed to be played underwater for swimmers
