Unesasaree leterz

The Ministree uf Unesesaree Leterz haz ishued the folowing proklamashon:

“The letter k shall ony be uzd to make the sownd preeveeoslee maad by ‘ch’ and the leterz Q and X ar on temporaree hi-atus, during wik time new and yooneec sownds will be conseevd uv and asind to them. (Menee hav sujested Q maak ‘sh’ and X be yoosd for ‘th’.) In the interim, pleez yooz fonetic spelingz to ecspres the sownds redundantlee asoseated with theez leterz, i.e., “cween,” “zilofone,” and “cucumber.”

In adishon, the leter G iz heerbi prohibited from infrinjing upon the ritful sownd uv the letter J, and wil be fined three shecels for eek suk ocurrens. That iz al.”