The True Meanings of Words

Birding means looking at birds. With that in mind, we have been using many words incorrectly. Here are a few examples:

Training means looking at trains

Caring means looking at cars

Landing means looking at land

Flying means looking at flies

Boating means looking at boats

Phoning means looking at phones

In other word news, if chocolate is missing, it may be chocolost.

Let’s just call love of chocolate what it is, chocolust.

Sometimes, when coming up with chocolate puns, it’s best to give them time to percolate, or to perchocolate*.

Anthropologists are always ‘pologizing.

If you very, very quickly weigh out a gram of drugs, you have an insta-gram.

Likewise, if you gain an ability very, very quickly, you have insta-bility.

If you think you may be sick outside in the winter, remember to wear your vomittens.

I know that Vulcans talk a lot about poop, because it’s scata-logical.

Repercussion: Playing drums, again.

A good spin class has spin doctors standing by.

A comfort is a comfortable fort.

Emcathic: An empathic cat; an emcat.

If your victim develops a tolerance to strychnine, you may have to move on to strychten.

It’s called morning because you have more of the day ahead of you. Evening should be called Lessening.

And finally,

A constipation vaccination is a diarrhea panacea. But the endemic, systemic pandemic epidemic needs relief from the belief that the Thief in Chief offers more than a fig leaf.

*Perchocolate brought to us by Alyssa.