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The Interview: Travis Kelce on Taylor Swift Merger
We caught up with the Kansas City Cultural Appropriation’s star ball player to see if we could loosen up the famously tight end on his emerging relationship with mega-human Taylor Swift.
DB: What did you think when management proposed the merger with the Taylor Swift brand?
TK: I was a bit skeptical at first. I had no idea of the potential financial windfall. But now I realize that a merger of our two franchises is a huge win-win for both our owners.
DB: Had you met Taylor Swift before that famous clubhouse date?
TK: I haven’t had any experience with their product first hand, but I know it’s a reliable money-maker and I’m looking forward to doing business with them.
DB: Aside from the financial rewards, what does this new relationship mean to you personally?
TK: On a personal level, bringing the Taylor Swift customers into the NFL will reap huge financial rewards for generations to come.
DB: Are you a Swifty now?
TK: I let my maid do all the Swifter stuff around the mansion, but I am aware that it’s a very efficient and disposable way to pick up household dust.
DB: Do you have any final words to add?
TK: Verily, two households, both alike in dignity, doth merge, and for this alliance may so happy prove, that being rich, my virtue shall be to say there is no vice but beggary.
