Some New Words that you Need

I don’t know about you (because the results from my reader algorithm app aren’t back yet), but I can’t remember to take anything with me out of my house unless I place it in my way, right up against the front door. Without this ingenious strategy, I would never remember to take the trash or recycling out and would suffocate in my own consumer waste. I call this technique of jamming the trash, my wallet, my friend’s casserole dish, etc. up against the front door a Remindoor (sometimes I call it a Dooreminder).

When a bouquet of flowers has a complex and beautiful assortment of aromas, it is Smelliful.

When warriors brave Covid and distanced lines and being ordered around by teenagers just shop in the local store, they are Storriors

Kinky dominant/submissive sex in the age of Covid is called Sado-Maskochism.

A medical procedure in which feces are scanned to see if you swallowed your keys is a Scat Scan.

When you plug in the address to a hardware store but your phone navigates you to an empty lot, it’s called Hardwhere?

When Silicon Valley tech dudes get cosmetic surgery to try to stay young and relevant, it’s called Brotox.

When you try to impress your model friend by stretching your neck skin and taping it in the back and telling her that you got some work done, it’s called Fauxtox.

When you pay $97 for an herbal mix of argon stem cells and tar pit slime and think it kind of made an improvement to your skin, it’s called Placebotox.

When you turn on a Star Trek marathon hoping to relive your glory days with the crew of the Enterprise and it ends up being reruns of Voyager, you’ve been Startricked.

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