Poopinary and Other Thoughts from a Person Who is Me.

2 min readNov 25, 2020


Not me, but clearly not just clipart of someone pretending to be in thought.

We have urinary. We should have poopinary. You could get a poopinary tract infection. I just like things to be balanced.

People tell me to remember to drink fluids. Why does no one tell me to remember to eat solids?

Does anyone ever check to see of Oregon is Oregone? I mean, it would be nice for the neighboring states to check every once in a while.

If it’s not supposed to go in your butt, why is it called Butter?

When capers escape, are they escapers? And do they become ex-capers?

When you walk by a flower bud, do you say, “Hey, bud!” Because I do.

Is a template for a plate a plate template? Continue to contemplate a plate template, without contempt, while reading this:

When the Count encountered a counter, he counted ten plate templates. He temporarily plated the plate templates with tempting low-temp tempura producing playful platters aplenty.

I want something to go wrong with my spleen for the sole purpose of me asking my doctor to ‘spleen it to me again.

If nothing can stop you, that’s pretty pathetic. I mean nothing isn’t even anything, and it can stop you? In my case, nothing can’t stop me. But something might.

Thanksgiving is like if Germans celebrated Holocaust Day but re-branded it so it was just about Jews and Germans getting along and being thankful for the bounty of bratwurst and wiener schnitzel before them.

If you are a peon, but the very best, you are a Champeon.

A Venn diagram containing words that contain both poo and cock would list one sole word:


Who came up with this word, and why? Well, it denotes an insidious cross between a Cocker Spaniel and a Poodle. But the mad scientists that invented this aberration could have called it a Coodle, which would have been cute, or even a Cocker Spoodle. But no, they were a crude and evil bunch who settled on Cockapoo.

Just to show you how racist America is, Blackmail is literally a crime. And they spelled it wrong.

I wish this country would just stop putting up with all the bullshit from the people who run things. Then, we would truly be an Insubordi-Nation.

The dexterity you experience in Spandex is called Spandexterity.




Walk softly and carry a big schtick.