New Definitions! (or “Nude Effin-itions”!)

I can’t help it. I think about words all the time. Here are some new definitions, new words, and new thoughts on words:

Enormouse: a giant mouse
Carpet: a dog that likes to ride in a car
Crumpet: a dog who eats crumbs off the floor
Hopen: to open with hope
Hey, you “i before e” people: Explain “Weird Science”!
Direction: an erection that has died
Catastrophy: A fancy trophy cat
Partea: a faster way of writing “tea party”
Coughee: What happens to you when you drink your coffee the…