Limp Avian Turd vs. El Zen Sky

By Dan Cretu, via https://dribbble.com/DanCretul

It’s time to squeeze more puns an anagrams out of the wilted cabbage that is my brain.

• Travel logs sound unwieldy for travel. I would suggest travel twigs.
• If you have stage fright and you’re making a public speech at a nudist colony, should you imagine the audience fully clothed?
• Every Christmas I feel cramped, because I always try to live in the present. But that’s a long time to stay still in a box under a tree.
• When I think about the looming prospect of a Russian invasion of Ukraine, I am unsettled by the following indisputable facts:

1. The letters of “Russia” can be rearranged to spell Sir USA, which makes Russia just a medieval version of the USA, which itself is the most violent country in the world, having invaded more nations than any other country in history.
2. “Ukraine” can be rearranged to spell air nukes.
3. “Sanctions” cast no sin. But “warfare” causes raw fear.
4. It makes sense that “European” sounds like “You’re a-peein’,” since “Europe” is our pee.
5. The Russians better watch out for Kamala Harris, since her name rearranges to spell Am liar shark. (Or Ma Liar Shark).
6. Joseph Biden presents as a bit more passive, with the anagrams Bed Pies John and Needs hip job.
7. I don’t know what it means, but Joseph Biden can also be rearranged to spell “Hep jibes, son!” Which sounds like something he’d say.
8. Most alarming are the Vladimir Putin anagrams: A Invalid Trump, Laid Vain Trump, VIP Admiral Nut, VIP until drama, Mad Turnip Vial, Variant Mud Lip, Invalid Apt. Rum, Animal Turd VIP, Valiant Rum Dip, Timid Pun Larva, Valiant Rump ID, Dim Lava Turnip, Avian Dirt Lump, Valiant Mud Rip, Limp Avian Turd, Putrid Anal Vim (has he sent the assassins after me yet?), Lava Rim Pundit, Invalid Rat Ump, Laid Up Varmint, Maudlin Rat VIP, Diurnal Vat Imp, Plain TV Radium, Primal Nut Diva, And Virtual Imp.
9. Whereas Ukraine’s “Zelensky” is simply El Zen Sky.

• In other world news, “global warming” is a blaming growl, an aging warm boil, and an all raging womb. I like the imagery of the all raging womb of Mother Earth fighting against the aging warm boil of the planet caused by the blaming growl of in denial humans.

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That’s all the blog I have time for before whatever it is I do besides blogging. See you next time.