How to Get the Most Out of Language

How to turn ordinary words into delightful celebratory dances:

Correspondence… Correspond, Dance!

Abundance… A Bun Dance

Misguidance… Miss Guy Dance

Attendance… A 10 Dance

Dependance… Deepen Dance

Accordance… A Chord Dance

Ascendance… A Send Dance

Avoidance… A Void Dance

Guidance… Guy Dance

Tendency… 10 Dance, See?

How to fix palandromes:

The word palindrome should be a palindrome, so it knows how it feels to be a panidrome. I suggest we change palindrome to one of the following:

Palanalap

Dromemord

Dromepalapemord

Paladromordalap

Lapoopal

PalaPoopoopalap

To save on the number of words we have to keep track of:

“Fingers” should be called foot toes.

“Mittens” should be called hand socks.

“Bras” should be called boob underwear.

“Old” should be called less young.

“Donut” should be called sweet bagel.

“Fog” should be called ground clouds.

“Religions” should be called god clubs.

“Schools” should be called institutions of cultural indoctrination.

Since we now have more space for words, here are some states of being in need of their own words:

Tired + Angry = Trangy

Bored + Confused = Borfused

Stupid + Conservative = Stupervative

White + Entitled = Whitled

Afraid + Angry = Afrangry

Republicans forced to eat their own = Republicannibals

The ill-informed watching Fox News = Foxymorons

Your sister working on her thesis = Thesister

Your brother’s thesis = Brothesis

Using democracy to install a racist autocrat = Democracist