Answers and Questions, by Daisybrain

3 min readJan 1, 2024
Copyright 2023 by Daisybrain

Question: What does it all mean?
Answer: Nothing

Here are some more indispensable truths and quintessential queries to live your life by.

  • You can poop your way out of any situation.
  • Only listen to music that has not yet been written.
  • Is it pronounced tinnitus or tinnitus?
  • Your imagined needs are more important than the alleged “emergencies” that other so-called “people” are having.
  • Memes are your best source of opinion-reinforcing news, because there’s no pesky editorial board checking out their sources or conclusions.
  • Why is every murder reported as a “brutal murder”? What would a non-brutal murder look like?
  • If the cops come after you, why would you “book it” if you are trying to avoid being “booked” and having the book thrown at you?
  • Invent an avocado affogato and your life will have meaning.
  • Anything that floats on water while on fire is flamboyant.
  • My doctor told me to hydrate, but I’m a carbon-based life-form, so I carbohydrated, with donuts.
  • When you understand something too much, you are overstanding it.
  • Don’t you first have to lax before you can relax?
  • Some whistle blowers are just referees.
  • Literally anyone who starts as sentence with the word, “literally,” is about to say something non-literal.
  • What kind of key unlocks the door to freedom from leaders? An anarch-key!
  • Proctologists should be called Asstronomers.
  • When they ship Styrofoam peanuts, do they add more Styrofoam peanuts to protect them?
  • If you could tell time, what would you tell it?

Google Virginisms

If you think that there’s nothing new under the sun, you are wrong. For proof, here are seven original phrases I just came up with that get absolutely zero hits on Google:

  • “How to perform open heart surgery using only a thimble, hedge cutters, and a partially used box TicTacs.”
  • “Respect the rights of…