A Very Daisybrain Post

Here are some extremely important questions for you to ponder on your next grocery shopping trip:

• Do you ever walk through a produce aisle, and notice that the celery is stalking you?
• Are you ever afraid to walk down the cereal aisle because there may be cereal killers?
• Are you ever feta up with the cheese selection because it’s just not gouda enough? You want better cheddar, you find the stilton too stilted and the Muenster just meunsterous, but it’s already a feta compli?
• Do you ever let them know they have leaks in their produce fridge?
• Are you aware that canned candy corn can cause cantaloupe cancer?
• Ever find spaghetti that’s pasta expiration date?
• Ever wonder if bathroom tissue is made from actual tissue?
• Ever buy a gluten free product only to realize it contained no free gluten?
• Ever open up a package of candy that’s “10% free!” just to take the 10%?
• Ever wonder why sandwiches contain neither sand nor witches?
• How many toes do you think are in tomatoes?
• Do you think it’s false advertising when a grocery store opens up a new deli and it has no Indian food?

The following should be words:

Funderful

Strangerously

Indirectangle

Oddhanded

Spineapple

More Questions:

• At Halloween in yoga ashrams, do they have Tantric or Treat?
• Will this year’s Vidcon be called Covidcon?
• If women menstruate, shouldn’t men womenstruate?
• When will “longer than expected delays” finally just be referred to as “expected delays?”
• Isn’t it likely that at least some of the people “running late” are actually just “walking late?”

Don’t forget to visit me at my slightly more serious Medium blog, @EricIndiana